And does life go on…

I am observing, just wondering does life go on after someone close to you passes on… My colleague, shes a good friend and recently she lost her mother to breast cancer. She took 3 days of compassionate leave and then another 2 days of urgent leave. She was gone for a week. Now she is back at work, keeping herself busy and occasionally participating in our random workplace jokes, rants and sarcasms.

It must take a lot of strength to be back at work, pushing on full speed and doing all routine things like as if nothing happened a week ago… How does she do it? She is a mother of 2 kids and I am sure she has to find that inner strength to be sane and strong for her 2 sons. How to do you compartmentalize your emotions and thoughts?

Someday (**touchwood) if and when time decides, how do I cope? We can’t be stagnant and mourn forever… Our dearly departed would be looking out for us from up above and wanting us to live a full happy and content life. And yet now I cringe at the thought of it…I am perhaps too weak and I may never be able to recover and pick up the broken pieces.

I lost my first ever friend to brain tumor at the age of 11. She spoke to me one day and then the next she was scheduled for brain surgery and she passed on during surgery. She departed at the age of 11. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I will never get to say goodbye. So for years I was angry with myself for not saying it enough. For not meaning it well. I should have said it when she was still around. It’s been too many years and some days I do think back about how we spent our childhood days together. How we used to sneak out to each others’ house and play while our parents would throw a fit because they didn’t know where we were. Those were some amazing days. Cherished memories.

After countless years, I’ve finally moved on and I’ve finally let her go.

May her soul rest in peace. My first ever friend…you will always be loved.

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